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Christine Kane

    Watch Your Language
    by Christine Kane


    A few years ago, I was in a car with the promoter of one of my performances. He had
    picked me up at the airport and was driving me to my hotel. On the way, we talked
    guitars. We got onto the subject of Olson Guitars, arguably the best guitar in the whole
    world. At one point, the promoter said, "Yea, well, in my entire life I'll never own an
    Olson guitar."

    There was a time when I'd let a remark like this slide on by, even adding my own "me
    either" to the mix.

    Now, I can't. Yoda steps into my head and says, (in his Yoda voice) "So certain are you. Always with you it cannot
    be done."

    So, I turned to the promoter and said, "You are NOT allowed to say that!"

    This is because I know the power of language. When you know that words become things, it's hard to let language
    slide.

    I can't help it. I have a rule:

    Friends don't let friends speak crappily.

    Language is powerful. Words can create reality. Even if my promoter friend doesn't know how on earth he'd ever
    get his guitar, it doesn't mean he should cut off the possibility with his own words.

    If you're wondering how to begin watching your words, here are 7 practical language principles for becoming a
    better creator of your life.

    1 - Eliminate "never" and "always."

    Never and always are words of hysteria. "I always mess everything up!" "I'll never figure this out!" "I'll never get an
    Olson Guitar."

    First off, it's not true. If you always messed everything up, you wouldn't have made it out of the womb.

    And second off, extreme words are designed to hook you. It's just your emotions taking a joyride. You're more
    powerful than that.

    2 - Use AND instead of BUT.

    "But" dismisses the statement before it. "And" includes it. For instance, "That's a good article, but it needs some
    editing" isn't nearly as encouraging as "That's a good article, AND it needs some editing."

    "I love you, but..." is another great example of the dismissive power of "but."

    3 - Avoid "Should."

    Should is a heinous word for many reasons. It is victim-speak. It disempowers its object. It negates desires, thereby
    making it harder to make choices. It adds a nebulous energy to the decision making process. Use empowered
    language instead: "I could..." "I would..." "I am choosing to," "I would like to," "I don't want to," or "You might
    consider..."

4 - Stop calling yourself depressed.

Also stop allowing anyone to tell you that you are depressed. When you call yourself "depressed" or "obsessive compulsive" or "ADHD" or
whatever - you're claiming this thing. You're calling it forth with the most powerful two words in our language: "I am." That creates very little
option for the
transformation of this condition.

5 - Delete the word "hate" from your vocabulary.

"Hate" has lots of energy. When you use it, you send lots of energy out into the very thing you "hate." Even if it's negative energy, it's still a
powerful force, adding its charge to that thing. You're also depleting this energy from
your own spirit as you say it.

6 - Be "great." Or "wonderful."

A disease of the creative temperament is a belief that we must be authentic at all costs. So we can't answer a simple "How are you?"
without delving into an in-depth scan of our emotional temperature.

Try this instead: When people ask you how you're doing, just say, "I'm great!"

I used to think if said this, then I better have a good reason for saying it, like I just won the lottery or something. I thought it would make me
look suspicious, and people would start to wonder if something was wrong with me. But then I did it. And you know what? Most people don't
care why you're great. You're saying it for you.

7 - Pay attention to the music of your speech.

You know how some people? They talk in question marks? And you have no idea why? But it makes you think you shouldn't really rely on
them? And it makes you not want to hire them?

The music of your language says a lot about you. If you let your sentences droop like Eeyore, ("Thanks for noticing me.") or if you do the
uncertain question mark language, take note of what attitudes are causing this. These patterns are created for a reason. Even if it feels like
faking it at first, generate confidence as you speak.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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