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Dean's Daily Poems
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12/31/08 page created 5/30/09   Carl Watts, Nutrition Response Testing Certified,  Nutritionist, Artist, Designer, Problem Solver, Author, Publisher, Philosopher
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An orgasm is the cummulative
FLASH FLASH FLASH
of their entire lifetimes
before the eyes of three hundred million
drowning sperm.

[Note: Hmmm--seems kind of sexist, since it would apply best to a male orgasm.]
___________________

I'm eating so much fiber
I've become a bulk male.

[Note: For the pun-challenged, bulk male/bulk mail, and fiber is said to provide bulk.]
___________________

TV ad cameramen--masters of the art
of showing clothes coming off
or soap slathered on, but not
what they're coming off of
or being slathered onto.

[Note: Don't feel guilty, guys, if you started to get turned on by soap sleeked onto what turned out to be the fold of an elbow or the bottom of
what turned out to be a baby. And if you had some warm thoughts when the camera showed silken stuff being kicked off calves and feet,
hey, that's what the sponsors wanted!]
_________________________

Puberty is when the children sound like
an old banal situation comedy,
their laugh-track so frenetically inept
that you wonder if they've become
oozy and hairy yet.

[Note: Kids emotionally stressed and laughing at the wrong places are here compared to old TV sitcoms (which had wildly unreal laugh
tracks, with uproarious laughter at the lamest jokes), because I wanted to get to the final pun on "Ozzie and Harriet," one of the lamest
sitcoms of all time, on which, for example, the allocators of taped laughter apparently thought that little Rickie Nelson, saying week after
week, "I don't mess around, boy!" was hilarious. Oddly enough, lame as it was as comedy, the show was around, it seemed, forever, on
radio, then TV, I think mainly because the characters were so pleasant and "wholesome" in their bland way. For the pun-impaired, puberty
is when kids get hairy (crotches, arm pits, etc.) and oozy (various "vital fluids"--for example, menstruation starts for women...); hence, one
wonders if they are "oozy and hairy yet"  -- or Ozzie and Harriet.]
_________________________

Alcohol, drugs--people trying
to open up their heads
and let the sunshine in...
with a can opener.

[Note: I think lines 2 and 3 are based on the chorus of a pro-psychedelic song from the musical "Hair." (I say "I think" because I wrote this
long ago, and don't recall for certain.)]
______________________________

What happened to education?
It was killed by the Dewey Dewey fog.

[Note: There's an old folk song in which someone is killed by the foggy foggy dew. I turned that around to give John Dewey his just deserts.
Dewey descended upon our educational system as a sort of toxic mist. He ran (many decades ago) the Columbia University Teacher's
College. I've forgotten the details (some Googling may turn them up, or look for a book called The Leipzig Connection by Paolo Leonni--it
may be online), but Dewey was part of a campaign, largely funded by Rockefellers to turn the American educational system into a means of
constructing a new social order where kids weren't educated to make them literate and flexible and able to think and to bring out their
abilities, but instead to encourage them to lower their standards and keep their proper place in society. The idea was that most should be
put on a track to be laborers and not distracted by anything that might encourage bigger dreams. Dewey was a major proponent of the
idea that education should be aimed at teaching children to be "well-adjusted." Go along to get along, conform to the environment. Don't
adjust the environment to suit yourself. Much that has followed in the degeneration of our educational system was pioneered by Dewey.]
_________________________

The "science" of psychiatry is mostly guesswork,
having no proven laws nor formulas. For example,
they are not certain if doubling the number
of psychiatrists would double or quadruple
the number of mentally ill people.
____________________________

Psych-iatry means "healing the spirit,"
or perhaps it is "heeling, as in
"HEEL, Spirit!"
________________

Jobless,
homeless,
less.
_________

Homelessness is where the
heartlessness is.

[Note: I hope no one is unfamiliar with the old adage this is based on: "Home is where the heart is."]
_______________

[And just to get away from that string of socially bristling poems...]

Pardon me, green bug.
I meant to scoot you from the page,
not to crush you.
_____________________
A pride of lions, an ecstasy of larks,
a preening of starlets, a clutch of fans,
a privy of poets,
a carping of critics,
a quibble of scholars,
a scarcity of readers,
a courtesy of applause,
a reality of silence.

[Immodest Note: In recent years I've seen many witty people inventing variants of this sort--a [fill in the blank] of lawyers, a [FITB] of
psychiatrists, etc. Newspapers run contests for this sort of thing. But I wrote the poem, above, around 1990, at which time, I do NOT recall
seeing others doing this little exercise. Who knows, maybe I was an "influence."

Silly Note: "Scarcity"--a city where everyone is scarred?

Serious note: I do NOT suffer from an extreme scarcity of readers, but many poets do. I'm a fortunate poet. (Though "a scarcity of book
purchasers" might apply. A Victorian Mother would  scold me: "Why should they pay, when you're giving it away!")]
_____________________

Dean Blehert
Blogs:
http://deanotations.blogspot.com (short poems)
http://dearreader08.blogspot.com (essays and longer poems)
WWW.BLEHERT.COM  
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