How to Succeed with ARC (Affinity, Reality
and Communication)


"Without affinity, there is no reality or communication.
Without reality, there is no affinity or communication.
Without communication, there is neither affinity nor
reality. Now, these are sweeping statements, but are
nevertheless very valuable and are true."

-- L. Ron Hubbard

Affinity: how well you like or love a person
Reality: how much agreement you have with a person; what you agree
to be real
Communication: your exchange of information and ideas
Understanding: The result of combining affinity, reality and communication

By using ARC, you can significantly improve your relationships at work and
at home, find new friends, make more sales, negotiate better deals, lead your
group more effectively and help more people. You will be selected as the
best person for a date, for promotions at work, big contracts for your
business or whatever you want most from life. Using this tool gives you more
self-confidence, greater peace of mind and an improved view of yourself.

Part 1 in this series explains how the ARC Triangle works and how you can
increase the amount of ARC you have with someone. You can read Part 1 by
clicking here. Part 2 explains how you can repair upsets you have with
others.

Part 2: Breaks in the ARC Triangle

Whenever you feel upset with someone, you have a broken triangle or an
"ARC break." Every argument, fight or break up includes an ARC break.
Everyone who once liked you and now seeks revenge against you, tries to
get even with you or hopes you fail has an ARC break with you.

"The ARC break will vanish magically when the
source is found." -- L. Ron Hubbard


You simply find and restore the broken point of the triangle. When did the
upset begin? Which point of the triangle had a sudden drop?

Did you suddenly dislike the person (A)?

Did you have a disagreement (R)?

Did you have a communication problem (C)?

Once you spot the problem, you can repair it. When you fix it, the sun
shines, the birds sing and everything goes back to normal.

Example: Your accountant calls and says, "I'm sorry to tell you this, but I
made a mistake. You need $10,000 by the end of the week to pay your

taxes or you'll get a $5000 penalty."

You say, "You idiot! I don't have that kind of money. How could you do this
to me!" You hang up. You feel betrayed. You decide the accountant is an
enemy and that you should not talk to him again.

Later, you still feel upset. You try to feel better, but you cannot. So you
examine the problem to determine if the break in the ARC triangle is A, R

or C.

You realize the problem is not that you dislike the accountant, but that you
disagree with the unhappy reality of owing taxes. This break in the R point

of the triangle makes you want less communication. Of course, the A or
Affinity point dropped as well.

Now that you know the problem is a break in reality, you calm down and
decide to handle it. You call and say, "Sorry I hung up on you Peter, but the
news was a shock to me. You need to explain this as it's so unreal to me."
Within seconds, you and your accountant work out a solution.


When People Get Upset with You


When someone gets upset with you, you can use the ARC triangle to
resolve the problem. For example, Fred, an old friend of yours, is acting odd
on the phone. He doesn't say much and won't talk to you. You think back

and try to determine if the problem is with A, R or C.

You ask yourself, "Did we suddenly dislike each other? No. Did we disagree
about something? No. Did we have a communication problem?"

You realize you forgot to return Fred's call last month (a break in
communication) so you say, "I'm really sorry I didn't call you back last

month." Fred suddenly says, "Yeah! Call me when I leave a message so I
don't have to come over there and throw eggs at you, okay?" You both

laugh.

As another example, you have been negotiating a contract with Pam and
your last offer made her so mad she broke off the meeting and stormed out.
Without your knowledge of ARC you might give up on the deal or start

using intermediaries.

Instead, you look over the situation and evaluate the ARC. Which point is
the most damaged? You realize the R or reality point went bad as no one
can agree. How can you repair this break in reality?

You could raise the communication point by trying to call, but that does not
seem appropriate. You could send a cheerful greeting card to increase the
affinity, but that doesn't sound right either. You want Pam to realize there

are more points of agreement than disagreement.

So you send her a list that describes all the many points of agreement
already established along with a request that she call you when ready to
complete the negotiation.

Your telephone rings 10 minutes later. Pam starts the conversation with an
apology.


Suggestions


1. Are you currently upset with anyone?

2. If so, which one of the three points of the ARC triangle do you think is
broken? Is it broken because you dislike the person? Because you

disagree with the person? Because you failed to communicate with the
person?

3. How could you repair the break? What steps could you take?

4. Take those steps today!

5. Repeat the above four steps for other people you may be upset with.

6. Repeat with anyone who may be upset with you.

7. Repeat with anyone in your past with whom you wish to rekindle a
relationship.

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.


Part 1, click here. Part 2, click here. Part 3, click here! Part 4, click here.
Part 5, click here. Part 6, click here. Part 7, click here. Part 8, click here.

___________________________________________________________________________
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