page created 4/9/09
People Who Want You to Fail (Part Three)
Who is Stopping You?

You feel good one day and bad the next. You are productive and efficient one
week, but then waste time and get nothing done the next week. Your mood
goes up and down, apparently with no explanation.

Why the rollercoaster? You are under the influence of an antisocial person.

Abraham Lincoln was known for his mood swings. Sometimes he was
energetic, ambitious and cheerful. Other times, he was withdrawn, exhausted
and unable to sleep. Winston Churchill was also on a rollercoaster: forceful,
energized and brilliant one day, depressed and drinking the next. Imagine how
much more these men would have accomplished, if they had been stable.
They did not recognize how antisocial people were hurting them.

Businesses are also prone to ups and downs because of antisocial people.
One week your productivity and income are doing well. The next week, you
have major problems.

Marriages and families can go through the same ride. Happy and loving one
month, unfriendly and argumentative the next month. If this happens to you,
someone may be secretly messing up your life.

Luckily, you can handle the negative people in your life. You can take control
of your progress. You can have a stable, steadily improving business, career,
marriage, family and life.

The first step is to recognize who is causing you trouble and what they are up
to.

In two previous articles, we outlined three characteristics of the antisocial
personality. Here is #4.

Antisocial Characteristic #4

"4. A characteristic, and one of the sad things about an antisocial
personality, is that it does not respond to treatment or reform . . . ." -- L.
Ron Hubbard

For example, most people find a walk to be refreshing, even therapeutic. An
antisocial person sees no benefit. "No one likes to take walks . . . all that
polluted air is bad for your health. . . the crime rate is rising so you better carry
a pistol."

Most people are happier when they move to a better neighborhood or learn a
new skill, but not an antisocial. He or she does not change for the better. He
or she sees nothing to be happy about.

No matter how hard you try to help antisocial people, you will fail. You think
you can help them and you try as hard as you can. They may even give you
the idea that you are succeeding! But in the end, the antisocial smashes your
hopes.

For example, you work at a health club and believe you can help anyone get
into shape. Most of your clients are delighted to lose weight and feel stronger.
But a small percentage of your clients prove you are wrong and ruin your day.

You can waste years trying to make an antisocial into a kind, considerate
person. For example, antisocials will beat their wives or kids until someone
threatens them. They pretend they have changed and then start the beatings
again.

The antisocial is the constant complainer; the critic who is never happy; the
whiner who threatens to leave you. He or she acts kind and thoughtful . . .
while stabbing you in the back.

If you open your eyes and face the truth, you eventually realize you cannot
help the person, no matter how hard you try.

The opposite characteristic is true of the social personality.

"It is often enough to point out unwanted conduct to a social
personality to completely alter it for the better." -- L. Ron Hubbard

If you supervise a social employee, correction is simple. You just point out the
problems. "Sally, please don't use your computer for personal shopping." Sally
says, "Okay" and stops shopping with her computer from then on.

Bosses love employees with social personalities. They can help these
employees succeed and thus make the company succeed. "How would you
like to become a welder? We have too many welding jobs around here, so if
you stay late, I'll teach you how. Later, I'll give you a raise because we'll sell
more welding jobs. Sound good?"

At least 80% of all employees, bosses and coworkers, are social personalities
and fun to work with. They are considerate and supportive. They change and
improve themselves.

If you are married to a social personality, you can work out your marriage
problems with communication. "Could you put your smelly socks in the hamper
each night?" "Sure."

By the Way, Are You Antisocial?

"Self-criticism is a luxury the antisocial cannot afford." "Only the sane,
well-balanced person tries to correct his conduct." -- L. Ron Hubbard

If you criticize yourself and try to improve your behavior, you are not antisocial.
You have the desire to get along with people, to even help them, but not to
hurt them.

For example, a father finds a broken vase and asks his 7-year-old son, "Who
broke the vase? Did you break it?" His son says, "No, I didn't!" The father gets
angry and spanks him for breaking a vase and lying about it.

But then his wife comes in with a broom and says, "I need to clean up the vase
I broke."

A father with a social personality then hugs his son and says, "Son, I'm sorry
for not believing you. I'm going to trust you more, okay? Let's go get some
pizza!"

A father with an antisocial personality says, "The kid deserves the spanking
for something else he probably did. You need to show these kids who the
boss is."

Of course, anyone can temporarily be antisocial, if he or she is pushed hard
enough. For example, antisocial parents teach their children to be antisocial.
The key is whether or not the person will change to a social personality, once
he or she realizes the truth.

If you want to improve your conduct, you will change your conduct. You have
a social personality!

(The earlier characteristics of an antisocial person are covered in previous
TipsForSuccess articles which you can read at Part 1, and Part 2 . Also see
Part 3
and Part 4. Part 5.)
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