Take Control, Part Two
Read Part 1 by clicking here, Part 2 by clicking here, Part 3 by clicking here!,

Control Consists of Three Parts: Start, Change and Stop

“Control consists entirely of starting, changing and stopping. There are no other factors in positive control. If one can
start something, change its position in space or existence in time and stop it, all at will, he can be said to control it,
whatever it may be. If one can barely manage to start something, can only with difficulty continue its change of
position or existence in time and if one can only doubtfully stop something, he cannot be said to control it well, and for
our purposes he would be said to be able to control it poorly or dangerously. If he cannot start something, if he
cannot change its position in space, if he cannot stop something, then he is definitely not in control of it.” -- L. Ron


If you are a boss, a parent or a leader, you know how difficult it can be to control others. Yet when you control people properly, they like it!

People feel satisfied when you control them properly. You start them, allow them to make changes and then stop them when they are

“Jill, please bring me the red pen . . .” (Start) “. . . and put it right there.” (Change) “Thank you very much.” (Stop)

People do not like you to control them when you mess up any of the three points.

For example, if a business does not start its employees by telling them when they should arrive for work, people just start work when they
get around to it. The late starters irritate the prompt starters. Some might not start at all. The business is a messy confusion.

So if you want to control a group or an individual, you need to give a clean “START” and then let them get on with it. “Everyone must be
here at 8:00 AM for staff meeting. Not 8:01! We will start the meeting at 8:00.” Of course, you then make sure the meeting starts exactly
at 8:00.


Once you start someone, you create problems if you prevent the change portion of the cycle. For example, you tell one of your staff
members, “Dave, please sweep up this room.”

Just as he gets out the broom, you say, “Dave, you need to file these papers right now.”

After he files a few papers, you say, “Hurry Dave, go get me a box!”

You earn better cooperation if you let people complete the change without interruption.

“Dave, please sweep up this room.”


The final mistake you can make when controlling people is not stopping them. For example, you fail to notice they are done and do not
acknowledge them for finishing. If you do not stop people, they may tend to keep working on the project indefinitely.

For example, you say, “You swept up the room very well.”

If you don't stop the cycle, you lose control. By cleanly stopping the cycle, you complete your control on that matter. People are now open
to your next cycle of control. You are in charge.

When people discover that you cleanly start, change and stop them, you can ask and obtain more and more from them. You can give
complicated instructions, long lists of tasks and major projects. They feel comfortable with your control as they know you will let them
complete the work and acknowledge them when they are done.

Some people believe you need to use fear, force or threats to control people. The government and certain institutions get a bad
reputation for using fear and threat. This type of control makes you feel like you are a slave.

A business manager runs into trouble when he tries the same type of control. His or her employees revolt!

Fortunately, you will find that using the information in this article will put you in much better control than fear, force or threats. Simply start,
change and stop people, cheerfully, cleanly and consistently.


1. Write down the name of someone you want to control.

2. Write what end result you want the person to accomplish.

3. Plan how you will:
A. Start him or her
B. Allow or direct the needed changes or activities
C. Bring him or her to a stop

4. Finally, follow the steps of your plan.


1. You want to control your 10-year-old son, Joey. He gets upset when you tell him to clean his room.

2. You want Joey to clean up his room when you ask and without any drama.

3. You work out your plan.
A. You get him to agree on a time to start. “Joey, in 10 minutes, I'd like you to start cleaning up your room.”
B. You will direct the change part of the cycle by watching and helping, as needed. “You're doing a good job Joey. Let's look under the
bed now . . . “
C. You acknowledge his good work. “Joey, that is a really clean room! Good job!”

4. You then follow your plan. Joey calms down, cleans his room and feels proud of himself.


1. The only person who understands your computer is also a jerk. Russ is constantly complaining about your old equipment.

2. The end result that you want is that Russ does his job without complaining.

3. You work out your plan.
A. You decide on how to get Russ to start. “Russ, instead of just showing up this week, can you start at 10:30 on Wednesday? Great.”
B. You plan on how to change Russ. “Russ, I know our equipment is old which is why we need your help. Instead of complaining, it would
be great if we could just make it work, okay?”
C. You plan on how to stop Russ. “Russ, you did a great job. I'll take it from here. Thanks.”

4. You implement your plan with Russ. At first, he is resistive to your control. But you persist and gain small pieces of control until you are
successfully starting, changing and stopping Russ. You are soon in control of the relationship.

So starting with step 1, who would you like to control?
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