| The Big Game When I was first born, first held by my Mother - The Baseball Gods reached down and placed a thunderbolt in my left arm. Now it is 22 years later. My name is Mary Jane Galyen I am the relief pitcher for the LA Dodgers. I am waiting in the dugout at Yankee stadium. The world series is tied 3 To 3 This is Game 7 The score is LA 4 New York 3 The bottom of the 9th is soon To start I will be closing the game I am scared Now Mary Jane - my coach said - We just need 3 outs. You're my Gal. You will do fine. Now go get 'em I climbed the dugout steps. Little did I know this would be the last game of my career. When my foot hit the infield they started playing my song. It blared out of every speaker "In my hour of darkness Mother Mary comes To me..." The fans were screaming. Bands of gold floated up where fans threw their popcorn into the air. I struck out the first batter with 3 fast balls. Hot Chocolate cake I screamed I struck out the second batter with 3 curve balls. Double hot chocolate cake I screamed I walked the 3rd batter with 4 straight pitches. Panda Poop I said The next batter was Tidy Bowlen. He was the star batter hitting 345. He would spit tobacco juice into the hair of little girls. He publicly stated he hated all people except drug dealers. His team mates despised him. Tidy said he liked little dogs. He liked To eat them with hot sauce Tidy was evil and ugly and stank and had bad breath and dirty clothes. Tidy walked toward the plate while obscenely scratching himself. He mouthed curses at me and scowled My first pitch was low and wild and hit the back stop. The runner reached third. Oh Double Panda Poop I said and just To ensure I realized how bad this was I said it out loud DOUBLE PANDA POOP I screamed. I prayed that the Baseball God Tommy Lasorda would help me. I went deep into my windup. Little did I know this would be the last pitch of my career. (Editors Note - Some times good people get hurt. Sometimes dreamed are crushed. You should Not read this storey any further -Best wishes Tidy Verbatim - the Editor) My arm snapped forward. The ball flew 100 mph straight and true. Tidy swung as hard as he could and hit the ball perfectly square. The ball came off the bat at 160 mph. It hit me right between the eyes and bounced straight up. I was lying unconscious as the ball came down and settled in my mitt. The Umpire ran out To the mound then started screaming OUT OUT OUT. Tidy Bowlen screamed then kicked the Bat boy. Later in the hospital room the reporters crowed it. Miss America you won the world Series!!! You are the first woman To have a save in the world Series!! How do you feel Miss America ? Is this the greatest day of your life?? This day will be the greatest day of my whole life I screamed and cried. (But I was wrong) By Mary Jane Galyen For information or Comments, contact Carl |
Page created 8/30/08, modified 9/17/08
