page created 11/23/07 modified 9/18/08 page modified 12/3/08
Some years ago, I went to visit a married couple that I had been friends with for years.
When I arrived the atmosphere was very tense and full of anger. You could have cut it with a knife and
put it on bread.
I viewed the situation rapidly and observed the man and woman were arguing and making no sense at all.
I broke into it as asked the wife to get me a pad of paper and pen. She did this.
I then got their agreement to stop shouting and to stop verbal communication entirely. Instead, I asked
them to write down their comment to each other.
My theory was that writing would slow the communication and force some analytical thinking. It's difficult
to write without thinking some.
At first the communication was very insulting and poorly written. After a few minutes it improved and
within five minutes, they were no longer upset.
We ended off on the pen and paper and I asked them what had started the argument.
Neither could remember.
So what I observed was that I took some unanalytical, low toned reactive communication
and mechanically brought it up to analytical communication.
This is a small trick that worked.
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When I arrived the atmosphere was very tense and full of anger. You could have cut it with a knife and
put it on bread.
I viewed the situation rapidly and observed the man and woman were arguing and making no sense at all.
I broke into it as asked the wife to get me a pad of paper and pen. She did this.
I then got their agreement to stop shouting and to stop verbal communication entirely. Instead, I asked
them to write down their comment to each other.
My theory was that writing would slow the communication and force some analytical thinking. It's difficult
to write without thinking some.
At first the communication was very insulting and poorly written. After a few minutes it improved and
within five minutes, they were no longer upset.
We ended off on the pen and paper and I asked them what had started the argument.
Neither could remember.
So what I observed was that I took some unanalytical, low toned reactive communication
and mechanically brought it up to analytical communication.
This is a small trick that worked.
Return to Problem Solving Home
Click here to Return to Updates
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